Day 5 Part Two: Recovery and Blessings

 Day 5 Part Two: Hank's Miraculous Recovery

Hank has been sick and now it's time to nurse him back to health. After leaving the domain because of chest pains, and now battling dehydration, we were back in the room resting. Hank was drinking water and Sprite as we quietly reflected on our pilgrimage so far. Sitting on my bed, with Hank laying in his...I asked Hank, "What do you think of this trip?" He laid back and thought..."I miss home a little bit," he revealed, "But I am not ready to leave Lourdes." I told him I felt the same way. It wasn't until we got home and I had time to really absorb everything about the trip, that I realized those words held more meaning than I could have imagined at the time...

Convent of the Poor Clare's

With Hank wanting to sleep, I pulled curtains and darkened the room. While he slept, I pulled out my tablet to try to get online. With no luck, I journaled more of our trip and then slept too. Hours later, we both awoke...Hank was looking better and drank more water. Wanting to sit up and read, I asked if he would be OK if I ran over to the cafe to get online. With his blessing, I quickly set out to find WiFi access. I should mention that I did get out earlier in the day, after lunch with Christine and Dr. Jim, who took me shopping for souvenirs and Order of Malta swag! We went up to the Convent of the Poor Clare's and I was able to purchase rosaries and medals to bring home. Dr. Jim reminds me of my own Uncle Jim, the same wit and dry sense of humor...and I am pretty sure they both feel the same about shopping! But even so, he patiently put up with my need to look in almost every store!

At dinner time, I ran down to the dining room and brought soup back for Hank, not really liking it, he settled for bread, and pastries. While he ate and played on his phone, I went back to the dining room for a quick meal. Dr. Jim and Christine were downstairs and asked if we would like to go somewhere. I told them that Hank and I had talked about going to the grotto since we missed it earlier in the day, but I wasn't sure if Hank was up to it.

When I returned to the room, Hank was awake and looking great! I asked if he wanted to get out of the room and go to the grotto. He said yes, and got dressed. Joined by Dr. Jim and Christine downstairs, we started our walk. It was just getting to twilight and crowds were already filling up the Domain for the nightly rosary procession.  Instead of walking across the concourse, we took the ramp up to the upper level of the Rosary Basilica. (We would be taking part in the procession the following night)

Looking over their shoulders at the start of the procession below.

There were people lining the edges, looking down at the crowd below, and as we made our way up, the voices of the pilgrims reciting the Rosary en mass, gave me goosebumps. Standing at the top of the square, we squeezed between the others, to get a better look. Below us were hundreds of people holding candles, and walking the length of Rosary Square and back. Following behind a statue of Our Lady of Lourdes, carried on the shoulders of 6 strong men. The Rosary was being said in Italian, with every few "Hail Mary's" being said in another language. At the end of each decade (one Our Father, 10 Hail Mary's and a Glory Be), the choir would lead the crowd in song. I rejoiced as I heard the strains of "Immaculate Mary" sung by so many and joining in with them, my breath caught as they raised their candles high in the air each time they sang, "Ave! Ave! Ave Maria!". I found myself in tears at the beauty of faith before me. I looked at Christine, who also had tears in her eyes. "I am in tears every time I see it," she later told me.

I did not want to tear myself away, but we wanted to get to the Grotto before the crowd below us dispersed and joined us there. Walking down the ramp, I joined in the Rosary with those below, and

realized all those around me, where doing the same. A few minutes later, we took our place in line, to walk through the Grotto. The feeling here was different. Even though we could still hear the voices and the music, it all seemed so distant. As if a heavy cloak were draped around us, enveloping us in a warm embrace. The line moved quickly and quietly, and as we edged closer, I once again was overcome with great love and emotion. This had a much different feel this time. It was more personal...(just writing about it now, I am once again in tears) The spring that Bernadette dug, which feeds the baths, was clear through the plexi-glass; rushing over the rocks, as it has done since 1858. We continued our slow walk through, each in our own silent prayer. As we came out and walked under the spot where Our Lady appeared (and a statue of her stands today), I paused and turned to her. Radiant in the light, and so clearly visible against the dark of the grotto, I saw her as St. Bernadette saw her all those years ago. "A lady dressed in white with a blue sash and a rosary. A yellow rose was on both of her feet."

Lighting Candles

We left this part of the grotto and continued towards the baths, where numerous candles are set up. All sizes are there...some which can burn for a month. Jim and Christine generously purchased candles for Hank and I to light. We each took our candle and searched for a place to put it. There are numerous "boxes" which hold a multitude of candles...just finding empty spots was the trick. We found somewhere to place them and lit our candles. I placed mine in and stepped back to say a prayer. Hank went next, lighting his candle and doing the same. I caught his face in the candlelight...reflective and prayerful, and something else. "Something is different", I thought to myself. Something that I didn't know but felt...

We walked back by the Grotto, pausing to stand back and take it all in. The lights shining on the statue, the illuminated spring, the long line of pilgrims waiting to walk through, the people filling up all the benches facing the Grotto. The crowds of people, like us...just soaking it in. And the many people...kneeling on the concrete...in groups of two...or just individuals, with their heads in their hands, prostrating themselves before the Virgin Mary. So much love here...so much devotion...so much emotion...so much peace. And all of it...in silence...
The draw of the Grotto was strong for both Hank and I ...and we would continue to go back again and again, during our trip.

We slowly walked back through the domain, where the crowds were now sparse, and made our way through the streets of Lourdes and back to our hotel. "Thank you Hank," I said as we walked, "I know you did this for me." He smiled slightly, "Yeah...I know you really wanted to go to the Grotto, Mom" he said. Here was this boy...so sick just hours before...and making this sacrifice for me... We said goodnight to Jim and Christine, thanking them for taking us out. Hank and I made our way up to our room...and I thanked Hank again for going. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and draped his arm around my shoulders..."I wanted to go too..."

*up next: Mass in the underground basilica, the teen retreat, candlelight procession...oh and machine guns...!

View of the Rosary Procession from above.

The spring in the grotto

The Grotto at night

Candles between the grotto and the baths.

Day 4: The Grotto of Massabielle in Lourdes, France

Friday, May 1st, Day 4: The Grotto of Massabielle

Our second full day in Lourdes, and I awoke feeling good...finally! I could use a cup of coffee! Hank told me to hang on and just get to the Baths and I would feel better...and he was right!
Hank and I got dressed and headed to the banquet room for breakfast. Today we would be with a different team with us and would be visiting the Grotto as well as the "Anointing of the Sick" Mass. After breakfast, we had team activities. Our team was to have a historical talk, which Hank was not interested in.. Instead, we met up with our voiture (French for "wagon" or "cart") team and discussed what we would do. Since Hank and I had not been able to get online and I was desperate to post on the blog and Hank's Facebook group, we headed up to "Cafe New Orleans"...one of the few cafes that advertised free WiFi. Today's team was another family and we were thrilled! Dad and Mom: Mark and Patty, and their son Rod and wife, Laura. All of them personable and engaging and interesting...and I could see Hank take to them immediately. (as did I!)

It was raining as we headed out the door, leaving the voiture behind, since it was a short walk. We settled down into a comfortable table and started to get to know one another as I desperately looked for a signal. Part of our visit to the Grotto would entail leaving our petitions there. We all took time to write our prayers down...why are we here? Who are what are we praying for?  Hank had a list and so did I. We pretty much included everyone we know! Of course we had special intentions...for Hank's healing, and for other people in our lives who are ill and in need of healing or cures. OK...so I had a stack of papers... We finished our coffee (the first of many French Cappuccino's for me), I posted a quick update to the blog and Facebook and headed back to the hotel garage to start our journey to the Grotto.

The Read family escorts Hank to the Grotto.

 The walk was wet and it was the first time that we had to pull the cover up on the voiture. This brings a different feeling to the walk for Hank. No longer is he able to take in the scene from all sides or to have conversations with those pushing the cart...now he is isolated and his only view is straight ahead. I knew he didn't like it, and tried to stay within his line of sight, so we could talk. Our puller, Rod, was great. He would turn around and talk to Hank quite frequently, to keep him engaged. I could see everything though...and the procession was quite beautiful. somehow, we were in the front of the group, following directly behind the American flag and the Order of Malta flag.

As we walked through the bustle of the domain and headed in towards the Grotto, the feeling in the air changed. The talking ceased and the feeling of reverence was obvious. As we edged closer to the Grotto where Our Lady appeared, we could reach out and touch the rock of the cave walls. They were wet and I noticed people placing their hands in little streams of water as they ran down the rock. I wasn't sure if this was what we are supposed to do, since it appeared to me to be just the rainwater running down the cliff.

Hank waiting to pass through the Grotto for the first time.

All of a sudden it was our turn and as we turned the corner we could see the spring that Bernadette dug at Our Lady's request. It was covered with a plexi-glass covering which seemed to be a little fogged up, not giving us the best look, but we could definitely see the water moving quickly and running down over the rocks. Here, is where we deposited our prayer intentions...or so we thought. Turns out the woman who grabbed our petitions from our hands and placed them in the intention box actually stuffed them in the donation box...which we realized when we saw the next box clearly marked with the word "Intention" (turns out the word is the same in English and French) ARGH!! I guess she was trying to help...but we were disappointed and would subsequently redo our intentions and return to the Grotto with our revised list. (adding more names and being more specific)  The line was long and since we were in front, the Hospitalite' rushed us through, not giving us as much time as we would have liked...As we passed through, I looked up to see the statue of Our Lady, placed in the exact spot that she appeared when she told St. Bernadette, "I am the Immaculate Conception" all those years ago. I was awestruck and desired to just stay there...to stand and be with Our Lady, to pray and talk with her...but it was not to be at that time...

St. Pio

With lots of time before lunch, our team asked if we would like to go elsewhere. Hank said yes. They took us to the Museum of St. Bernadette, where we saw pictures of her family, her house, articles of her clothing as well as the construction of the basilica. Next door to the museum is the Basilica of St. Pius X, the largest church in Lourdes, constructed almost entirely underground. We would be attending mass there on Sunday with the 25,000 other Order of Malta groups from around the world, prompting everyone to call it "The Superbowl Mass". We left the museum and entered the underground basilica. There was an obvious drop in temperature as we walked in. The church is built with pillars and rafters that look like an inverted boat. Tapestries hang along the concourse, depicting the lives of the saints, and the tabernacle is the largest I have ever seen. Mark was very well versed on the stories of the different saints and shared the information with us. We stopped at the banner depicting St. Pio (Padre Pio, before he was beatified), a very humble Italian priest who bore the Stigmata of Christ, could bi-locate and who resided in Italy until his death in 1968. I read about Padre Pio when I was about Hank's age and loved him ever since. As we talked about the amazing life of St. Pio, Hank whispered to me, "How come I don't know about him?" I explained that I had many books that he could read and he said, "good, I want to!" And as Mark went on to talk about other saints and their lives, I watched Hank listen intently, enamored with what he was hearing and realized another gift had been bestowed on us as a new world opened up before Hank.

The church was vast, with an altar right in the middle. The altar could be seen from all angles and a very modern crucifix stood there as well. Not all the lights were on, and so I could only imagine what it would look like fully illuminated. Mark pointed out an area behind the altar where all the clergy would sit. There were rows and rows of seats, and I couldn't picture them all filled but Mark assured me, they would be.

After spending more time walking around and sight-seeing, we headed back to the hotel for lunch, where we were joined by many others from the Order of Malta. Among them, Monsignor Kidder...a good and holy priest, who I would later have the honor of getting to know better. Also seated with us was another Malade, Jonathan as well as his mom. Jonathan is just 20 and the most positive young man I have ever met. I felt very fortunate to be in such great company and the great conversations and laughter was just what we needed. A quick visit from the Bishop of the Diocese of Sacramento was a real treat. He said hello to Hank and asked how he was doing. Bishop Soto had just flown in the night before. As the Chaplain of the Red Team, he had some catching up to do and was greeting each table.  We have met Bishop Soto before...through our wonderful priest, Fr. Terry Fulton, pastor of St. Maria Goretti Parish in Elk Grove. (Fr. Terry passed away in Nov. 2013 and we miss him deeply). But I know that these men meet a great many people...and would not remember us...but was thrilled to see him!

After lunch we once again loaded up into the voitures and headed to the domain. We would be lining up for the group and team photos and then heading to St. Bernadette's for the "Anointing of the Sick" mass. It was a well-choreographed dance of placing the voitures right in front of the steps of the Rosary Basilica, a beautiful backdrop for our photo. I took position behind Hank, as did the other companions...taking their spots behind their Malades. Bishop Soto joined the rest of the Red Team and took a spot right next to me. He checked in with Hank and was met with a huge grin...Hank was slowly getting used to people asking him how he was doing and was so pleased to see who it was! Little did I know just how many times we would interact with Bishop Soto and how close we would all become in a short time.

The photo was quick, as was our team photos. After our photo, we had a few minutes while we were waiting for the other teams. All of the Malades had been given flowers in honor of May Day and Hank was going to give his to Our Lady. In the middle of the domain stands a huge statue of Our Lady of Lourdes. May is Mary's month and on the fence surrounding the statue, people had already started placing flowers...As Hank stood before the statue, I had tears in my eyes. We had crowned Mary many times over the years on May 1st...but never did I imagine that Hank would be placing flowers before Our Lady of Lourdes...in Lourdes! What a special moment and something I won't soon forget!

With pictures complete, we were quickly underway to St. Bernadette's Church, the same church that we had the washing of the feet. Upon entering, Malades and companions were led to the pews...leaving every other one empty. Mass was celebrated by Bishop Soto, were he was accompanied by at least 40 members of the clergy...from priests to the Archbishop. It was a beautiful sight and I briefly wondered how would I ever enjoy Mass again, with just one priest celebrating the Mass? (I was getting spoiled!)

The Anointing of the Sick got underway as the clergy were sent off into the church, each taking a section. I looked down the aisle and watched as the priest blessed Sandy, a Malade that we had gotten to know quite well. Once again I had tears in my eyes, and with blurry vision, I snapped a photo for her...knowing she was just as amazed at being here, as I was! The priest made his way to Hank, where he anointed Hank's head with oil as well as the palms of his hands. Hank has been blessed in this way before every surgery...but something about being here, in Lourdes, made it so different. I started to see companions and Knights and Dames start to line up for a blessing, so I quickly joined a line and was blessed as well. ("OK," I thought to myself..."With both of us blessed...there is going to be some serious healing happening here!")

We had a nice dinner and then Hank took off for Gelato with the other teenagers and some parents. They came back and took up some seats at the bar...which I will call "lounge" so it doesn't sound as bad... I sat in the "lounge" as well and talked and visited with others. (all while keeping my distance from Hank, so not to embarrass him, but close enough that he knew I was there) Hank came to me the and asked to go to the Grotto with some of the other kids. As long as John Gabriel (the 17 year old son of the Knight who pushed Hank's cart the day before.) was going, I said OK. Sometime later, Hank was back, enjoying pizza with the rest of the group. He turned in around 10 pm and I followed up about an hour later. I got in the room and I knew...Hank is sick! He had obviously vomited and was now curled up and asleep on his bed. "Oh no!!", he had caught my bug. (I am pretty sure that I am "Patient Zero"). This can't be good...I am a very sympathetic mom...you vomit...I vomit. UGH! Alone with my sick child in France...no cell service, no Internet. Well maybe that was it...one time and he is good, I thought as I cleaned up the bathroom.
I couldn't have been more wrong...and the next 24 hours had me scared...

Hank hanging out with the other teens.

Hank seeing the Spring for the first time

Rod taking Hank through the Grotto

The Grotto of Massabielle

Waiting for the big group photo

Getting ready for group photos

The Red Team!

Visiting with Most Reverend Bishop Jaime Soto

Hank and his team for the day: L to R: Patty, Rod, Hank, Laura, Mark

The procession to the Rosary Basilica.

Day 3 Part One: Washing of the Feet

* Internet has been down and cell service is not existing for me. I am keeping a journal and will post when the Internet is up or we return home.

Day 3: Thursday April 30th.
This day was so long, I have broken it into 2 parts...this is part one:

Apparently, travel is not agreeing with me...an intestinal bug has found me and kept me up all night with hourly runs to the bathroom. I feel terrible and am afraid to eat. "Just hang in there, Mom," Hank tells me, "you just need to make it to the baths and then you will be better." (I have faith that he is right...and I love that his faith is so strong)

This is our first full day in Lourdes and we are excited! The Red Team's nurse, Maura, stopped by our room to check on Hank and I. I told her I was struggling with a bug so she sent the team doctor by with a packet of Imodium. With a busy schedule ahead of us, we headed down to breakfast. We were met by our our Knight who would be our escort for the day. Today, we would be with a family. The same family who greeted us at the airport, with our name badges. What a nice bunch to start our trip off with! Parents John and Valerie and their 3 kids; Maria age 11, Juliette age 16 and John Gabriel age 17. All of them in their Malta uniforms and with big smiles, we sat down together for breakfast.

Thy were engaging and interesting and although Hank didn't say much, I know he was feeling better just being around a family. After breakfast, we had a meeting where we learned about the baths, which we would be visiting later in the day, as well as the other things we would be doing. As I looked around the room at all the other members of our team...I saw the hopeful faces of the other Malades and companions. Full of apprehension at what is to come...washing of the feet, visiting the baths where we would be immersed in the sacred waters of Lourdes, and so much more.

After the meeting, we ran up to our rooms to gather our things (and where I still struggled with my stomach bug), and then met down in the hotel garage. There, we found everyone assembled by team colors and searched out our cart. Hank and the rest of the Malades would be traveling by "voitures", three-wheeled carts that have a collapsible cover...and pulled by handle by a "puller" and pushed from behind by a "pusher". Each Malade is assigned a voiture and a team of pushers and pullers.
Hank and I had talked about the voitures before leaving for Lourdes...the whole idea was weird and uncomfortable for Hank...having people pull you in a cart, being looked at by others... so I know he stepped into the cart with a feeling of unease. But as he looked around the garage and saw all the other Malades in the same position, I think he felt better.

Our team, was full of positive energy as they buzzed around Hank. Blankets,

water, an extra seat cushion, a rain cover...all in place for his comfort. John Gabriel was assigned a different Malade for the day, and was not part of our team.  The garage was full of all the members of the Order of Malta, volunteers, Malades, companions and the members of the clergy. The chaplain for the day, said a prayer before we started out and blessed us. The prayer included a Hail Mary, and finished with "Our Lady of Lourdes...Pray for Us. St. Bernadette...Pray for Us." And with the United States Flag and the Order of Malta Flags lined up, we started our procession to Eglise Ste Bernadette cote Grotte (St. Bernadette's). We traveled together each voiture and it's team, chatting happily to the church.

Once there, the Malades were helped down and escorted to their seats. Hank and I sat together, surrounded by all the other Malades and companions, while the Knights and Dames took their seats behind us. The procession into the church started as numerous priests filed in to the strains of beautiful organ music and the choir lifted in song. After a welcome, they had the blessing of the

Rosaries and then distributed them among the Malades and companions. We were each given a rosary made by the Poor Clare's in Lourdes. An order of nuns who make the rosaries from the pods of the tree that grows on the grounds of the convent. Next was the ceremony of Reconciliation. The Priests, Monsignors, and Bishops spread throughout the church. Hank and I stood up and got in line for the opportunity of personal reconciliation and absolution. Hank went to a young priest, Fr. Jim, who we had met at the airport, and I went to a priest that I did not know. I later found out that he was a Bishop from Colorado, Bishop Sheridan. It was a very peaceful and heartfelt time, with a thoughtful confessor. Afterwards, Hank and I sat down for quiet reflection as the rest of the pilgrims continued through the process.

The last ceremony of the morning, was the Washing of the Feet. Our Blessed Lord washed the feet of his disciples at the Last Supper, So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have set you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you.’
(John 13:12-15)

Each team of Malades, followed by their companions, were brought up to the front of the church. The Malade took a seat, with the companion standing behind them, as either a Knight, a Dame or a member of the clergy knelt in front of them to wash their feet. I know Hank was nervous about this...and watched the ones who went before him, with a sharp eye. The Red Team was the fourth group to go up, so he knew what to expect. As Hank sat down, Our Knight, John knelt down in front of him, assisted by his son John, who held the basin and pitcher. Hank slipped off his shoes and socks as John carefully and lovingly poured the water over Hank's feet. John dried Hank's feet and then assisted him with his shoes and socks. As John was finishing, I was overcome with emotion. I tried to hold it in, but the tears flowed as we made our way back to the seats. As I wiped my eyes, Hank looked at me with concern, "Are you OK, Mom?" I nodded, "It's all just so beautiful." We made our way into the row and sat down...Hank put his arm around me and pressed my face to his shoulder as he patted my head. I was later told by a Dame, "I saw your emotion after the Washing of the Feet," she said, "I was fine until Hank put his arm around you and laid your head on his shoulder. Then I cried with you...it was just so touching and he is so sweet." That was the first of many touching moments. Hank impressed many with his kindness and compassion.

After the ceremony, the Malades were placed back in their voitures and started the procession back to the hotel. We could see the grotto from across the river, and stopped to take some photos. We headed back to the hotel for lunch, where we would prepare for our walk to the baths...

Hank and our voiture team at the Domain

Hank and I in front of the Grotto. The statue of the Blessed Virgin is visible between our heads.

Central Coast Boys

At the bridge, looking at the Rosary Basilica.

Next up...Our visit to the baths of Lourdes...